I Am Thankful for... My Rakes

Department

Art

Document Type

Editorial

Publication Date

11-22-2018

Abstract

Today is Thanksgiving Day 2018, and I am especially thankful that a quintuple heart bypass surgery performed five years ago next month has allowed me to celebrate five additional birthdays and five seasons of serious rakings.

While I am especially thankful to be celebrating my 73rd birthday today, I am especially thankful for my rakes.

Since I am an avid supporter of Donald Trump, I am always heeding his fantastic advice. Unfortunately, my gradually balding black hair is not sufficiently grown to smart an orange grove of wavy pulled-back tresses cemented together with a special Ivanka cosmetic hair-bonding gel. Because the rain doesn’t affect my hairdo, I don’t mind getting it wet, especially when I am raking the underbrush in our backyard. I’ve also discovered that a bit of hairspray helps keep my thinning tresses from exposing my scalp.

Publication Title

CounterPunch

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