I Am Thankful for... My Rakes
Today is Thanksgiving Day 2018, and I am especially thankful that a quintuple heart bypass surgery performed five years ago next month has allowed me to celebrate five additional birthdays and five seasons of serious rakings.
While I am especially thankful to be celebrating my 73rd birthday today, I am especially thankful for my rakes.
Since I am an avid supporter of Donald Trump, I am always heeding his fantastic advice. Unfortunately, my gradually balding black hair is not sufficiently grown to smart an orange grove of wavy pulled-back tresses cemented together with a special Ivanka cosmetic hair-bonding gel. Because the rain doesn’t affect my hairdo, I don’t mind getting it wet, especially when I am raking the underbrush in our backyard. I’ve also discovered that a bit of hairspray helps keep my thinning tresses from exposing my scalp.
Halaby, Raouf J. Professor Emeritus, "I Am Thankful for... My Rakes" (2018). Articles. 133.